Things I shout while playing any video game ever:
- YOU FUCKING HOE
- YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED YOU
- I FUCKING (SCREAMS)
- FUCKING BALLS
- OH WHAT THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK
- YOU CAN SUCK MY SWEATY FUCKING BALLS
- I HATE THIS GAME
- FUCK ME
- FUCK YOU
- WHY AM I FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME
- I’m so fucKING DONE
- WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
- [PTERODACTYL SCREECH]
have you ever taken your dog to a jumping competition
everyones getting in relationships and I can’t even find my other sock
Me in the party: Gosh golly! This beat is… Whoo! This beat is… DANDY!
complete panic in one screenshot
My mom just told me you’re not a woman until you get blood on nearly every pair of pants you love. I was like, “what if you don’t have periods?” And she said “I didn’t say it had to be your own.”
I thought this was going to be cissexist and I was pleasantly surprised.
this one time a guy in my class was gonna download his presentation from hotmail.com
HE SPELLED IT WRONG
HE SPELLED HOTMALE.COM
HE WAS CONNECTED TO THE PROJECTOR
WE WERE TWELVE
JUST IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED
I swear at least five of my two friends don’t like me
So I went over to my boyfriend’s house tonight, and we decided to go night swimming. Well, we were kissing and grinding and all that in the pool and suddenly he just hugs me to him and says ‘I love you, and I’m glad you’re mine’ and when he said that I leaned in towards his ear and said ‘mine’ in the same voice as those seagulls from Finding Nemo and then he did it back and we basically sat in the pool shouting ‘MINE!’ at each other for a solid minute.
make me choose: Chandler and Monica or
Nick and Jess(asked by anon)
i am pretty much 3% human and 97% stress
*takes off shirt in front of girl* you like this? i got this pink line from sitting down for a long time. sometimes i get two lines.